I’m going to preface this post by saying am not talking about any specific person. I am just speaking about what I have expierencied throughout my life, and how relationships you have with people are ever changing…….
When you were younger, did you have that one friend who was going to be your best friend forever? You couldn’t imagine a world without them in it beside you? Or that first love who you couldn’t ever see leaving? But I’ll almost bet, that in most cases, these people are barely even blips on your radar at this point. And now you are probably trying to think of how that happened, or in some cases you know exactly how because of the scar it left behind in your heart.
Something that I’ve always struggled with is accepting that people change. You may be the best of friends at one point, or this is the knight in shining armor you always dreamed of, but when circumstances shift in life, so do these relationships. I’ve had many people ebb and flow into my life just like the tides of the sea. Sometimes they are close, and the connection you share is that of nearly a psychic nature.
But as we grow and mature as the years go by, things begin to recede. As we begin to learn more about each other, things aren’t going together like peanut butter and jelly any more. You may react with someone you loved with your whole being like oil and water now.
What this post is mainly about is that this is completely normal. I believe people show up in our lives At the times that they do to teach us something.Whether it be about ourselves, life, or relationships in general. But we have to learn how to treasure these moments and people for the time that we have them, and focus on what it taught us. We also have to know how to let go, and not let the separation ruin us as people. We must grow stronger from our expierences, not shut down from them. To be sure though, you will have the few that stick around, and these should be treasured even more.
I hope this helps anyone feeling the pain of a loss of some sort of relationship. I know this reflection helped me 💜
5 thoughts on “Relationship Ebb and Flow”
This is such beautifully written and facts. I knkw this feeling all too well
Sounds a lot like social anxiety being combined with on the introverted side of the spectrum. Though, I’m not a doctor, it’s just something I’ve come to understand about myself. People think being introverted means being shy when it just means we need time to relax by ourselves without a ton of people around us. It’s the social anxiety that really makes it difficult.
“Too peopley” makes a lot of sense. It’s like sensory overload. No one place to look, no one person to focus on, can barely hear what’s going on. It’s a crush of people. Absolutely overwhelming and utterly exhausting. Totally understandable to find that unappealing while still wanting to hang out with the people who invited you. Could just be a case of wanting a quiet get together with those same people? (Though, again, stressing about that get together can be intense in the lead up!)
Introversion might be a bit of an oddity in your social circle but it’s pretty common elsewhere. When I’m in my own head, I worry about how others perceive me. When others are in their own head, I tend to notice how understanding others are. We’re just harsher on ourselves because we only see what others let us see while we see everything about ourselves.
Plus, you’re in a very, very public medium. Needing your alone time is incredibly important if that’s just how you roll. Combining that with regularly performing and I can only imagine how draining it must be.
…I somehow managed to click between posts without realizing it. Which is weird because I was reading it right before I scrolled to comment. Oh welp. This was intended on your happy hermit post, hahah.
But trying to cope with people coming and going is one of those weird things that no one teaches us. In the moment, it feels like you’re just messing up relationships or something in your own life. Only later do you step back and realize everyone else has similar stories and they think they’re just as alone in the experience.
This is so well written.
It’s so hard not to let the separation ruin you when someone has been at your right side for years and years before everything changes, leaving you all alone.
It takes time just to get your head right, let alone your heart.
I agree this is something I had to learn myself in life. Man did I have some hardships and almost even died from my mistakes. Though these things changed me they are ultimately molding me to a better stronger wiser person.