Ok, so the latest thing that has been on my mind is the fact that I am a type of person that seems to isolate themselves. Like a lot. It’s not that I don’t have the opportunity to go out and be around a lot of people at once, but sometimes the thought is overwhelming to someone like me. You’ll hear me say the phrase “it’s too peopley” all the time and I really do mean that. I prefer a quiet setting with my cat, over a crowded downtown club where I’m shoulder to shoulder with strangers any day of the week. Does this make me a hermit? I suppose, but I am a happy one
When you do isolate yourself though, it does get a little lonely. And I feel like sometimes people don’t understand why I turn down going out and about, and can even get offended by it. I’m never trying to upset anyone, and it’s not that I don’t want to be around them, but sometimes my brain just can’t handle it.
I grew up as a very shy child. It was painful for me to meet new people, and I usually ended up saying or doing the wrong thing. Maybe this is where part of my isolation habits began. Maybe it was because when I was younger if I made one of these social faux pas, kids were cruel, and would laugh at me and make me feel even worse than I did before trying to be social. Eventually I just stopped getting asked to go places, but ironically that hurt too. It’s never that I don’t want to be invited, and sometimes I do want social interaction, but people are quick to give up on the kid that alsways seems to say and do the wrong thing.
Over the years of hurt and sadness, I learned that I can still control my happiness weather or not I’m always with the crowd. And I’ve also learned that it OK to ASK others what’s going on rather than to just assume that “no one wanted to invite you” if you’re usually the type who says no when they do. Maybe you’ll happily surprise them when you do go out at a time where you feel comfortable with it.
Isolation is my friend. I love to read a good book, cuddled up with my cat and do it dressed however I want with no one looking on to judge me. I love singing at the top of my lungs in the shower (poorly) and knowing that no one cares if I missed Freddy Mercurys high note……again. I love dancing around my room to a song and just being able to cut lose for those 3 to 4 minutes and the only person whoever sees it is my own reflection in the mirror. I love being able to meditate on life and reflect on everything that is going on with me.
So if you are what is considered the anti social type, and you may be looked at as a weirdo for it, EMBRACE IT!!!! because what all of us happy little crabs hiding in our own shells know, is that while the rest of the world is out there trying to fit in and be “socially acceptable” we get to be our true selves. And then when we do leave our shell for a bit, our beautiful unique perfect us is what shows. 💜
kimberlee90 
It is so hard to open yourself up like this, and I applaud you for it. Everyone handles situations in different ways. Often I get the inverse: “you always hang out with (group A), but you never call (me).” It’s hard to displomatically explain that communication goes both ways. Also, while I have multiple circles of friends, I prefer hanging out in a four person group max because larger groups leave me feeling like I never really giving anyone a fair amount of attention. I’m a newer fan, but I can’t wait to learn more about your career and style.
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Thanks peeking your head out of your shell and sharing. 🙂
I refer to myself as a borderline recluse. I like being around people but in small, short doses because I find it draining. When I do spend time with people I prefer smaller groups, it feels like a more intimate way to interact.
I agree, it is nice to cut loose and be free in your own company! I’m about to have a roommate for the first time in 8 years and the up side is that our work schedules are opposite so we won’t have to see each other much. Sometimes with roommates, they don’t understand if you don’t feel like talking or don’t feel like being talked at and I don’t enjoy confining myself to a bedroom just to get away.
In some ways find that I need my time alone in order to be fully present and engaged when I am around people.
So what’s your favorite Queen song?
In solidarity, Hermits unite! (Well, from within our own respective little shells)
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Oh and the setting in which I’m hanging out with people has to be somewhere that doesn’t involve a lot of exposure to strangers. I think that part of me has to do with being transgender. It comes from being misgendered by people most my life. I grew to hide away so I didn’t have to be exposed to people, strangers calling me by female pronouns. To this day, with a full beard and flat chest, I still get misgendered by people and it’s very uncomfortable and unsettling. I avoid being exposed to it as much as possible. :::Tapping my shell:::
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