Relationship Ebb and Flow

I’m going to preface this post by saying am not talking about any specific person. I am just speaking about what I have expierencied throughout my life, and how relationships you have with people are ever changing…….

When you were younger, did you have that one friend who was going to be your best friend forever? You couldn’t imagine a world without them in it beside you? Or that first love who you couldn’t ever see leaving? But I’ll almost bet, that in most cases, these people are barely even blips on your radar at this point. And now you are probably trying to think of how that happened, or in some cases you know exactly how because of the scar it left behind in your heart. 

Something that I’ve always struggled with is accepting that people change. You may be the best of friends at one point, or this is the knight in shining armor you always dreamed of, but when circumstances shift in life, so do these relationships. I’ve had many people ebb and flow into my life just like the tides of the sea. Sometimes they are close, and the connection you share is that of nearly a psychic nature. 

But as we grow and mature as the years go by, things begin to recede. As we begin to learn more about each other, things aren’t going together like peanut butter and jelly any more. You may react with someone you loved with your whole being like oil and water now. 

What this post is mainly about is that this is completely normal. I believe people show up in our lives At the times that they do to teach us something.Whether it be about ourselves, life, or relationships in general. But we have to learn how to treasure these moments and people for the time that we have them, and focus on what it taught us. We also have to know how to let go, and not let the separation ruin us as people. We must grow stronger from our expierences, not shut down from them.  To be sure though, you will have the few that stick around, and these should be treasured even more. 
I hope this helps anyone feeling the pain of a loss of some sort of relationship. I know this reflection helped me 💜

Happy Hermit 🦀

Ok,  so the latest thing that has been on my mind is the fact that I am a type of person that seems to isolate themselves. Like a lot. It’s not that I don’t have the opportunity to go out and be around a lot of people at once, but sometimes the thought is overwhelming to someone like me. You’ll hear me say the phrase “it’s too peopley” all the time and I really do mean that. I prefer a quiet setting with my cat, over a crowded downtown club where I’m shoulder to shoulder with strangers any day of the week. Does this make me a hermit? I suppose, but I am a happy one 

When you do isolate yourself though, it does get a little lonely. And I feel like sometimes people don’t understand why I turn down going out and about, and can even get offended by it. I’m never trying to upset anyone, and it’s not that I don’t want to be around them, but sometimes my brain just can’t handle it. 

I grew up as a very shy child. It was painful for me to meet new people, and I usually ended up saying or doing the wrong thing. Maybe this is where part of my isolation habits began. Maybe it was because when I was younger if I made one of these social faux pas, kids were cruel, and would laugh at me and make me feel even worse than I did before trying to be social. Eventually I just stopped getting asked to go places, but ironically that hurt too. It’s never that I don’t want to be invited, and sometimes I do want social interaction, but people are quick to give up on the kid that alsways seems to say and do the wrong thing. 

Over the years of hurt and sadness, I learned that I can still control my happiness weather or not I’m always with the crowd. And I’ve also learned that it OK to ASK others what’s going on rather than to just assume that “no one wanted to invite you” if you’re usually the type who says no when they do. Maybe you’ll happily surprise them when you do go out at a time where you feel comfortable with it.

Isolation is my friend. I love to read a good book, cuddled up with my cat and do it dressed however I want with no one looking on to judge me. I love singing at the top of my lungs in the shower (poorly) and knowing that no one cares if I missed Freddy Mercurys high note……again. I love dancing around my room to a song and just being able to cut lose for those 3 to 4 minutes and the only person whoever sees it is my own reflection in the mirror. I love being able to meditate on life and reflect on everything that is going on with me. 

So if you are what is considered the anti social type, and you may be looked at as a weirdo for it, EMBRACE IT!!!! because what all of us happy little crabs hiding in our own shells know, is that while the rest of the world is out there trying to fit in and be “socially acceptable” we get to be our true selves. And then when we do leave our shell for a bit, our beautiful unique perfect us is what shows. 💜